Last Stage Poem by Gabrielle Ciarann Roniyah Baer

[Authors note: The speaker here is not seen or named. S/he could be anyone of a long list, or if you will, a kind of Greek chorus of mourners for a golden hunter of long ago times.]


I once thought I would never walk this road.
once raged, such loss could not come to pass
once denied such grief could touch my life or his,
once begged the Universe, such pain might be reversed,
once wept my eyes dry, such emptiness they saw.

But here I am walking this road
with all those who loved him,
leaving the rage,
we no longer need it,
ceasing protests,
we are all familiars of sadness,
no longer bargaining,
we cannot barter Earth for Ellysia,
dry eyed and calm, we will persevere.

This small, sweet ache will never go away,
I cherish it, as I cherished him.
This unshed tear will be a long time falling,
I feel he hated tears and preferred laughter.
This loneliness serves as my reminder,
I cannot reach him now, nor lean upon him.

And yet, the morning sun, even in winter,
is brilliant as his grin, and warms me.
And yet, the gusty breeze, the chilling weather,
are full of his verve, and test me.

And yet the longer nights,
the sudden fall of dark,
teach me once more
how the wheel always, always turns.

I go on, feeling his challenge to answer,
I go on, sensing his courage to manifest,
I go on, knowing his delight to be living,
I go on, sharing his memory to honor.

We go on, as he would have it,
together, We go on, as he would ask us,
willingly, We go on, as he would wish it, bravely,
We go on, as he does, in our warrior hearts.

(written in September 1999)