Lord, I’m Sorry Poem by Tea Kawana

I feel bad
I feel so bad
I’m a fool
but no matter how much I tell myself that
it won’t settle my heart.
I was clean for three weeks
and I guess more
and now I want to fall.
I don’t want to become what I was
I don’t want to keep falling.
Lord, I’m sorry;
Forgive me in that moment I didn’t fear You
Forgive me in that moment if I threw You
back on the cross Saviour,
in that moment if I thought that Grace would abound
that I should abuse.
Let me not misuse my freedom;
as overwhelming it is.
I don’t want to tell myself that I hate myself
because You love me.
And I almost took the sharp object to hurt
but it would only make it worse
and deepen my offence.
I feel like I’m letting Grace flourish –
Take That Away Lord, I pray…
Take It.
I don’t want to fall back again;
not a step.
I need You and I need me
to look to You Always
that my weak mind may think
things of You.
Lord, I am sorry
for hurting You.
Let me put That Away
and with Your Help
let me Look forward
for It is past.