Lost Inside Poem by Sean Buchsbaum

It’s another night
Stuck in a place that we love
Sitting there with
The bright lights
Shining down blocking out
My chance for sleep
Everyone is thinking of everything
They could be doing instead
All i hear is laughing out loud
I think if im not here
I would be doing homework
Which was my only true
Lie

Coming from it all
Id rather be at a place
With no more yelling
I look ahead realizing
That this is for me
Then why do i keep
Disregarding it all
As a punishment
When it only is a place that helps me
Friends are talking laughter all around
And as chuckle to myself i could
Be doing homework one
Of the only true lies

Brought forth thinking back to the beginning
Realizing im here losing my brain
For an unlawful act of terror
Flowing excitement
Through the blood
Seeing it all
Fall away
With the
Vision slurring
And time
Disappearing altogether
Losing my life
To this excitement
As it blurs away
Taking more in just
To lose it anyway
Feeling nothing at all
Laughing at my numbness
It feels so good as i giggle
To myself thinking
All this time i could
Have been were
Im supposed to now
Staring at a grave of someone i never
Knew

Not even
Comprehending
In my brain
Im so lost in this vision
I’ve never seen
Seeing my hand shaking
But not feeling the pain
As the blood
Rides down my face
As i look over and see
It’s only a tear
Not of sadness
But out from
The body showing how
Bad its been treated
Giving up
As i go numb
Tearing away my last thought
As i look at the kid
In the casket
My eyes focusing in a blur
Looking through the eyes of the dead as it turns
Out it’s me in the casket crying

Looking for a hand
To pick me up
For now i have
Fallen so far
But no one was there
As i watch my laughter drift in the wind
Floating away
As my friends leave
They hear my
Cry of laughter
They come and see the excitement
And with there eyes they see
Me lying so still
With my hand so numb
My eyes so blind
My face so cold
How could they have stayed?
While they pull away
As the laughter has fallen
All i hear is
A cry a whimper

Shown by a poor soul
Drifting away from reality
When i look back at what
I have done
Not understanding
Wondering were i have gone and what i have done
Not finding a place i should have gone
Now that its been thrown away
More crying
Laughter will never coming again
Crying
Realizing
Im now
Gone