Mad Cow Lyric, Page 1 Of 2 Poem by John Bliven Morin

Farmer: “Is this ‘ere the mad cow disease payin’ place? ”
Clerk: “Come in, please, sit down, and tell me your case.”

Farmer: “I believes me old Nelly,
Like them cows on the telly,
Has got that there ‘mad cow’ disease.
If it’s symptoms you wants,
Well I’m happy to grant
Your request with whatever you please.”

“It started last Monday,
For that is the one day
When I goes to milk ‘er, you see,
When she turns oh so quick
An just misses me wick -
I suspect she was tryin’ to milk me! ”

Clerk: “That’s quite shocking, dear fellow, I hasten to say! ”
Farmer: “And then’s when I gets up an dashes away...”

Clerk: “And so you think, now,
That you’ve got a mad cow,
With true symptoms of bovine disease?
Is she merely unruly,
Or just crackers, truly,
Oh, can you elaborate, please? ”

Farmer: “Well, I must say ‘er dancing is most entertaining.”
Clerk: “Dancing? Now that will need some more explaining! ”

Farmer: “She stands up an’ prances,
Around the yard dances,
In ballet form all ‘round the ring,
With leaps and pirouettes
Just like dancing coquettes,
And that’s when she starts in to sing.”

Clerk: “Sing? My dear man, now surely you jest, sir..”
Farmer: “To Gracie Fields, me Nell’s second best, sir! ”