Marriage Hell Villanelle Poem by tim woodhouse

Will you trim my toenails? Wash my feet?
Will you press my trousers? Iron my shirt?
Of course I love you - I'd never cheat.

You still make my old heart miss a beat.
How could I ever leave you hurt?
Will you trim my toenails? Wash my feet?

Other girls are pretty, pert and sweet,
Occasionally I may mildly flirt -
Of course I love you - I'd never cheat.

Don't listen to the gossips in the street,
Ignore them as they try and dish the dirt -
Will you trim my toenails? Wash my feet?

Norman, my verbal parakeet,
Repeats these words in a staccato spurt -
Of course I love you - I'd never cheat.

Marriage, with its constant, steady beat,
All outside temptations will avert -
Will you trim my toenails? Wash my feet?
Of course I love you - I'd never cheat.