Maybe If I.... Poem by Lauren Ruark

'For the love of my life. Desi. I am always here for you no matter what. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH'


Maybe if I slit my throat
Things would get better
No one would hurt
And pain would be ridden of
Maybe if I sat in silence
And sewed my lips shut
Someone would actually listen to me
For the first time in years
Maybe if I fell down the stairs
And my skull cracked open
My secrets would be easier to tell
I’d be easier to read
Maybe if I pretended I was dead
Someone would cry for me
Someone would bleed for me
But I highly doubt it
Maybe if I ran away
Someone would chase after me
But in the end
They’d just tell me I forgot my bag
Maybe if I shot myself
The bullet would penetrate my heart
And stop its cursed beating
It’s annoying thumping
Maybe if I hurt myself
I would feel better
I would feel okay
I would feel alive
Maybe if I took my life
If I stopped my breathing
Ceased my heartbeat
I’d do something right for once.