Me And My Age Poem by Phil Soar

My eyes are out of focus
My feet are plagued with gout
My nose leeks like a dripping tap
My teeth are falling out
My bowels are rarely opened
My urine stinks a bit
My bloods so thin, it won't stay in
There's a mole upon my tit

I guess these little foibles
Are just a sign of age
Just like the way I struggle
When I try to turn a page
My hands are full of aches and pains
I cannot change my socks
My pants have quite unlikely stains
I can't see my own cock

The lines upon my furrowed brow
Are like a railway map
I wonder what will happen now
If I don't shut my trap
I'm always talking so much shite
I guess my mind's gone too
It looks like I won't sleep tonight
Unless I have a poo

When Nature plays it's games with me
I wish there was a way
That I could take a boat to sea
And float slowly away
But there must be a point to this
It's part of life's long trip
I'd walk in a cold autumnal mist
If it wasn't for my hip

So when you're next at your wits end
Just think about my sorrows
It may just drive me round the bend
But there's always a tomorrow
I'll take the best from life, and then
I'll wonder where god took it
Failing that, I'll just pretend
He tried, but just said F*** it!