My Big Fat Evil Wife (C) 3-12-07 Poem by Zahir Kijani

A day in the life of a man ruled by his spouse
'Go shoppin, run errands, and get your lazy butt out of the house'
'Why don't you get out of here and do somethin with your life
I bought the ring and said 'I do' to you being my wife'
'But I'm the one that said yes when you wanted to get engaged
We said we'd never fight but now I'm completely enraged
We need milk and bread and get me my shampoo
I'll write your day down and do what I told you to'
The man didn't know what to do or what he should say
So the only option the man had was to kneel down and pray
Dear god please forgive me and please answer my prayer
and bring this lady to your kingdom or someway get her out of my hair
Just do somethin to get this women to leave me alone
She has me buyin scrubbies, bread, sponges, and provolone
Then she just has to throw a candle party on the day of the super bowl
I bet she won't get anything for Christmas but a stupid lump of coal
Then when I do somethin wrong she acts like she's just flawless
Like the time I didn't mail Granny's letter at the post office
Please let the car break down so Tom Cruise can give her a lift
So she won't have to worry about me getting Annie's gift
Then load the car at 2p.m., she could've been more specific
I never wish bad things on people but I wanna dropp her off in the pacific
Then I gotta get some Bourbon for Brad and fish for Damen
Oh God take this lady from me in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen

Copyright 3-12-07 ©® Corey Threet
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