My Class Poem by Alfredo Jacques

My Class

Rating: 5.0


This is my first poem that I wrote for my class and you guessed it, it's about my class.

I see the young woman who lived with nuns
and lived to tell about it. The story she tells, has
the atmosphere of coversations with loved ones.

the women with the scariest precious moment dolls,
I have ever seen in my life.
Her words show me the beauty
in these “decapitated moments, ”
even though they send chills down my spine,
you know what chills.

Thinking of the blackbelt lady,
who can cry with the best of them,
brings a smile to my face.

The guy with the life so good
it can be summed up in two words, but
has to be said twice-“Good Times, Good Times.”

I try not to stare but see the young Greek women
with the beauty that wonders why, so many
eyes fall from her wrist,
I guess you had to be there.

I see the young lady with the family heirloom,
this ring with the beauty that only just begun to shine.

The “nerd” as he so kindly put it,
gives hope life can end up like the movies,
at least pretty close.

Finally, I look up to see the man
with the most precious item of all, a bus ticket
worth a life. I see this man
drowning
in a mobile fish bowl
driving across the desert, unable
to breathe the oxygen he has grown so accustomed to.
The sight of this gentleman fills my heart with pride,
for I see, the strength of mankind and the power of faith.

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Chuck Audette 05 September 2007

Very interesting, with some lovely line/word combinations. -chuck

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Alicia Patti 15 February 2007

Heartfelt sentiment here, Jacques. Only thing is it reads like prose rather than poetry. I would like you to revise it with shorter lines and remove all superfluous words that will not change the poem itself but will serve to tighten it up. Hope this helps. diva

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David Harris 01 February 2007

Alfredo, a lovely poem about people, classmates. Good stuff. Keep writing my friend. David

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