My Heart My Hell Poem by Stanley Oguh

All my life I have always been stepped on,
a soul who was always ignored,
and somebody nobody was impressed of.
They say that there's always an open door,
but I'm too weak to carry on where I left off.
and I was made fun of; brutally and raw,
and I was always weaker than I let on.
I was always looked at like I was different,
words could break me in a mere instant.
Nobody cared and nobody would listen,
I didn't look in a way people wanted me to,
so I always stayed away and kept distant.
Everybody would use words to find a way to break me,
but it's words that have strengthened me and made me.
We live in a world where everything becomes hazy and crazy,
and I needed someone to embrace me to save me,
I'm just a humble poet; you could choose to love me or hate me.
I have a memory which I only tend to remember vaguely,
it's been horrible and I've been loosing myself lately.
I need a friend to lean on; a friend I can trust,
somebody who could stop death in his tracks because it wants to erase me.
I have a heart too but people have left me broken,
there's nothing left; my fault for keeping myself open.
And there's never a minute; never a single moment,
where my tears would stop flowing for a second,
and I would not have to live my life just hoping.
I'm ugly, that's what society has made me now believe,
and people judge me like I'm an outsider to humanity,
I feel so deceived, and in constant search for some kind of relief.
My mind is fighting a struggle; my thoughts give me no peace,
I just want some kind of ease, somebody listen; somebody please.
I don't want to cry anymore; I need to be the man I'm supposed to be
but I'm being forever dragged down by whispers,
and they're telling me that will never be support for me,
and I should follow the rules that society will impose on me.
Nobody will catch my tears and sooth the pain I feel,
and I'm to embrace the shadow of the devil that proposed to me.
I just want to find a light that will lead me out of this hell,
I need to learn how to stop listening to the things that people will tell.
I wish I could find a way to avoid this reality,
and yet find peace in believing in myself.
The devil forever finding people with a soul to sell,
but not me, I will hold on to this life I was given,
and finally find an escape from this world that is hell.
I will write many poems that tell stories of the way that I felt,
and destroy every ounce of remorse and regrets that are left.
But the world shall remain forever dumb, blind and deaf,
and this shall be my destiny,
to keep a heart that shall remain dead.
And this is the last of my breath,
whatever I can manage from a sigh,
and the fatigue I feel in my head.
I have been running and avoiding the arms of death,
trying to beat and cheat the obstacles of life,
trying to find a way to pass the final test.