Needs To Be Saved Poem by iron panda 23

I hate my life
do i wanna die? ?
im confused
am i going through....
one of my depression stages
once again? ?

Pretend......
to be something im kinda not (happy)
but i was....then i wasnt....then i was again
its like a never ending pattern
i dont even know what the hell i should do
do i cry? ?
or write? ?
or complain to someone? ?
but who? ?

Where is someone? ?
who's that someone? ?
why is everything....has everything in my head
gone mad? ? loose? ? out of control? ?
whats the use? ?
im tired of something.....everything? ?
i cant even tell! !
is my pain real? ?
is it an illusion? ?
am i just going through some kind of phase? ?

These days! ! i dont even know what to do about it
shout it loud? ! ? ! ....im not so proud...
its a love-hate debate
between me...myself...and i
we sigh....cant come to a conclusion
confusion.....i think...
well at least try to...but nothings clear anymore
that door...where does it lead? ?
what is it? ? for me? ?
will i go to the other side...to find...
that 'things are looking up? ? oh finally'....
maybe 'this is the last night...ill spend...'
wondering...hoping? ? ...wanting? ? ...wishing? ?
futz it! ! theres no point! !

I know whats next....or do i? ?
perhaps......express! ! run wild! ! go free! ! ...
be me? ? ...does that make sense? ?
does this? ? do i make sense? ?
the fence! ! that one that protects me! !
am i free? ? not so much....
i still hurt....the pain is holding me hostage...
it got me...only because my fence....my shield....my barrier...
it fell...was destroyed...
im annoyed....i must deploy.....
my heart...my mind....my soul...myself...
needs to be saved.....
who will help me? ? ....will it be you...which is who? ? .....
what do i do? ?

~IP23