New Voice Poem by Rita Shay

Today mid- sentence someone stopped me
A friend and she said,
' Your voice is squeaking'
And I didn't believe her.
But a few minutes later another friend mid-sentence
brushed her hand in the air and stopped me
' Your voice is squeaking'
So I half listented to myself as I spoke and I heard it too
The faint high pitch at the end of my notes
Slipping out of my pale throat were drops much higher than the rest
And lately I've been stuttering too.
A lot, quiet a lot actually.
An onlooker may assume nerves cause stutters and squeaky voices.
But no, it was something so much grander.
Stuttering is what occurs when someone pauses for just a moment
To think before they speak as they search for words to pull from their heads.
Words they grab, the ones they alone wish to pronounce.
And the squeaking, the feint sound of true voices, screaming the victory
Of the truth from the mind that has made its way to the lips.
We all have a voice and we've all got things to say.
And some have voice so steady and grand but they don't mean
Or even believe a word they say.
So I'll keep my stuttering sentences and squeaks on the ends,
Because the words that go along are ones I have chosen.
And some words are ugly and I now do not always agree.
But this voice is raw, it is brand new and far from smooth.
It has just begun, just reborn from the years of another voice
Loudly, confidently speaking so much over it.
But now there is only this voice I've got and
You can laugh all you want, but I like it a lot.