Not Going To Lie Poem by Shaquay Spencer

Not going to lie
And saying it doesn't hurt
My heart still keeps you
Prisoner inside my world

I miss you so much
Because when it's all bad
You are who I run to
And when it's all good

I run to you still
I miss our moments
What I wouldn't do
For one last kiss

For one last perfect moment
To be held by you
And you only
I am incomplete

We weren't perfect
Not by any means
You had a past
So did I

Futures weren't meshing
But somehow we were
Going to smash them together
And create the perfect picture

Funny you're not here now
No more of us
No more hand holding
No more forehead kisses

Funny we promised forever
When did forever become this short
We were suppose to have a family
We were suppose to be 'the Bradfords'

I wanted your last name
I wanted to be the mother of your
Children of whom we made
Somewhere else in this great nation

Leaving the south behind for better
Just us against the south
Funny I was ready to tell my parents
Let everything out in the open

And now I can't say a single word
Now you're a man of the past
You're beginning to feel that way
Acting just like them

Stomping all over my heart
And this time not even
Looking down to say sorry
No explanation either

I guess I will collect
All the pieces to my
Fragile scarred heart
And move on

No more love songs for me
They are all so painful
To listen and know
She is talking about me

How did she know I was that woman
How did she what he did
How did she find happiness
How did she move on

How could he destroy and still sleep
How could he hurt and not care
How could I not mean something
How was I not enough

How could he want another
After all I had done
He could run to the arms of another
But what about me

I am the who loves him
I am the one who cares
I am the patient one
The one who wanted him the most

I was loyal
I always had his back
When the chips were down
I was there