Fine day, hit outdoors
Old bones, eons of slumber
Sound -dry log split asunder
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Copyright ©Seema Jayaraman, Mumbai 4Oct2015 All Rights Reserved
Nice one, but unfortunately this is not HAIKU. Haiku is one of the most important form of traditional Japanese poetry. It have 17-syllable verse form consisting of three metrical units of 5,7, and 5 syllables. Please check syllable 8-11-6. Thanks.
One more attempt at correcting this one to Haiku.. hope it is right now.. obsessed with Haiku..hopefully will be able to shrug this off and get back to more familiar long verses
Thanks for ur feedback regarding basics of Haiku.. I ve corrected them.. Inviting u to ck out my other works latest one called Why Blame Me A, Blood Moon.. Thanks
Thank you for your constructive feedback.. am still trying to understand the technicalities of Haiku.. will remember the guidelines mentioned by you. thanks
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
Okay.. here is another shot at making this a Haiku.. hope I have got it right this time.. obsessed with haiku.. hopefully I will be able to write it out from me...