On The Day You Choose Poem by Mary Angela Douglas

on the day you choose
on a day this is chosen for you
you will hear the news

you will make the news yourself
and read every book on the shelf
or let others read to you

exactly what they choose
what they leave out
and watch their clock

until there's no time then
for you to grieve
or even feel the need

to know what feeling is at all
anymore;
to dutifuly watch a wall, a door

expecting angels any minute
or at least a few fault finding

managers good at telling
others what to do,
especially you

they think won't have a clue
without them.

and you hear it drop,
that other shoe,
the final snow;

snowed under, You!
and the winter
of the life you chose not to choose

is blooming like a blackened rose
they want to sell;
your soul at a discount

so they can live well.

remember it when (your Soul, defend!)
so fresh so new,
so golden, God would talk to you!

but you obeyed
bizarre commands
that never came from God's dear hands

on any mountain, near or far
to quench the light of your birth star,
to not live as yourself.

and you know well
if nothing else
after a lifetime left unlived

and nothing more inside to give
how not choosing was choosing.

mary angela douglas 5 january 2016