One Song, One Challenge Poem by Andrus Cassian

I wish I would've known, could've found
the one song that would...tell me...everything I already know
the one song that would explain perfect rhythm
why...why I...
What do I care, this happy ever after ending I fantasized
this happy ever after I ate from the dinner table of Disney
this happy ever after I tried to make real
it's over, been over for months
it's been over, I can acknowledge
it's been over, I thought I could handle
thought I accepted it when I took on the challenge known as...
Was it worth it, worth it all in the end
I'd say ask these tears threatening to rush down my face
but no, not here, not today
she's there, right there across from me now
staring into my eyes, I can feel her gaze
and I can't dare turn away
We're months apart yet our synchronized till taunts, haunts me
I hate thinking, feeling this
well over this so I thought I would be
but with her so close, her voice a few feet away
I'm trying to run away in language but this is math
and I just can't work
I'm over her, it's what I'm making myself believe
still it doesn't excuse her from raining hail on my good days
with her very presence
it doesn't excuse these roses blooming in my hands
when I just want to toss them
and watch a million feet trample them
instead of trampling me