Parallel Paradise Poem by Victoria Keret

Parallel Paradise

Rating: 5.0


Her silence is like a vicious scream
her voice is like a frightening lullaby
she stares at a ticking clock
like she is summoning it to explode

while she is brimming with ideas
she is lost in a world she cannot call her own
in her own parallel paradise

where adults don't exists
only colors locked within a gate
within a hands reach
while young children gave their joyful speech
to their non existing paradise

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Thomas Vaughan Jones 20 January 2014

Victoria, I have the strangest feeling that this poem is about autism? It is full of similes. The first stanza reads a little uncomfortable and you might wish to make it more metaphorical. eg. Her silence is like a vicious scream her voice a frightening lullaby she stares upon a ticking clock she summons to explode. Just an opinion which I feel improves the format, yours to discard at will. Hugz

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