Putting Up The Steel Poem by Gordon D Wilkinson

Pain is not new to me
Hardened to it I thought I was, you see
This time it is indescribable hard
Glass heart broken into the tiniest shard
Pushing away love
As one would an empty glove
Withdrawing back into my hardened shell
Back into my own private hell
Putting up the defence of steel
Cutting off the senses that feel
Stomach churning
Never learning
What I was thinking I do not know
How fast with one word, it would go
Impossible to go that route again
Mind numbed with the pain
Feels like the heavens sent rain pouring down
That I cannot swim and must ultimately drown
Emptiness deep inside
Nowhere to look or hide
Mind confused
Memories abused
All self-inflicted pain
An empty heart stood out in the rain
Nevermore can it ever be filled
Too many holes in it drilled
Not enough patches that cover
Gone my friend, my lover
All I do is sit and wonder
What to do, I must ponder
Welcome back pain
Did not think I would see you again
Take a seat; stay as long as you want in this host
Right now, to me love is just a ghost