Rain Cloud (Sad) Poem by Poet of the River

I have lived in sorrowful clouds with dark and heavy rain.
Filling these clouds, my sorrow doubt and pain.
Sinking from the sky as the world pulls me down,
holding it all in, dying not to give in.....
forcing a smile to hide my frown.
I chose to let out one cry,
One scream to tell me why,
One pray to tell,
If i chose again to try,
If i chose, and fell,
would the world be at loss from the weight
of one sad cloud?
or would the sun shine through my absence
and make all others rejoice aloud?
Is there a mean for my existence?
a reason for me to be here?
A reason not to fall in an instant?
or should i let myself...disappear..