hema thasapalan

Rookie (kuala lumpur)

Ramblings - Poem by hema thasapalan

You swept into my life
When I was longing for companion
You swept away all resistance
and made me accept the inevitable
Denying you was futile...
It was like holding on to my breath,
Cutting off my nose to spite my face...
You merged into my
mind, spirit, body,
So deeply in me,
Now, i don't know
Where i start, or where i end,
In every corner, i feel u,
every hour spent without you
Is like a day,
I fall asleep only in your hard embrace
And wake up to your gentle cajoling voice
My alarm clock no longer is effective,
My day and night incomplete
when you are not around
Your presence is electric
a current running through me
My heart pumps up faster
and goose bumps are all over me
Is this some dream, or
Is it reality
My head feels heavy
and my knees feel weak
My hands are trembling
even as i try to speak
To deny your presence
Does it mean your death?
or to deny myself,
Will it mean my end?
I fell hard, and
I fell fast...
For something i could not see
Something that very quickly
became a part of me
A matter of survival
Am I imagining
Or am I indeed
Off my rocker
Only time will tell...
My instinct whispers (hema t,12/10/2009; 17.50pm)
My emotions has run a gamut
from fear, to lust, to love
My mind no longer my own
My body an instrument of your will,
any will i thought i had
disappears like a wisp of fog;
that is eaten up by the bright sun
With your smile, your look,
even a simple raise of your eyebrow,
And any will I want to show
Just melts in my heart
making my limbs mellow
I want to fight this feeling
This fear of falling,
But it’s too late
I’ve fallen, fallen
So hard,
I thought I was stubborn
I had a bitchy heart..
Now I find myself,
A big softie, a girl whose bark was worst than her bite
It may seem funny now, but its scary for me
To see this new softie
Who am I?
I don’t know why
I struggle, and pretend
You are unimportant
and forget you, I can...
And reality bites
I find I’m lost...
Longing for you,
Even if it meant, losing myself in you
Losing the me I thought I knew
Where do I go now from here?
What do I do with this new me?
I struggle to comprehend and accept this
And my instinct whispers
Not to struggle but to accept this graciously
All will be well, you'll see.


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Poem Submitted: Thursday, March 11, 2010



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