Really, I Don'T Poem by Aria Lei

Darkness has risen
To cloud my vision
Once again.
I know I've said these words before.
If I didn't put them up here,
Well, then I didn't put them up here.
I'd love to say I put everything I write
On here, on DeviantART.
But I don't. I don't have time,
I wish I did. But I don't.

This'll be more of a rant/rave than
Anything more.
But I can't write, correct,
Whatever, Not at the moment.

I don't know.
Really, I don't.
I don't know the answers.
I'm no hero.
I'm not meant to be the strong one of the family.
I'm only fifteen.
What happened to just being a teenager?
I don't know.
Really, I don't.
I'm not the one with all the answers.
I'm not the one that can't help everyone,
No one's that person,
Though I wish I were.

Thinking through everything,
Thinking about everyone,
What they've been through, what they've seen,
Heard,
Felt.
Standing up tall for everyone to lean on.
Trying to help everyone,
But being a realist and knowing I can't.
Hoping against hope that he'll make it through the cancer.
Being a realist and knowing he won't.

I don't know what I'm doing,
Here on this Earth,
Living,
Hurting,
Loving people then losing them.
Really, I don't.

I don't know how to be optimistic,
Happy,
Because, you see, optimism means being disappointed
When reality slaps you in the face.
I don't know if I WANT to be optimistic.
Really, I don't.
I think I'll stick to realism,
Even if it hurts,
Even though I don't like hurting.
Really, I don't.