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Looking Up. (July 15,1999 / Barinas)
Ripping My Heart Off.
Is it fair for me to wallow in sorrow?
While you wait for my tears to glow.
You expect a light, a ray that illuminates your heart,
That's a fight, because of me, that's another part.
You make fire BURN in my heart, and still you want my moist part,
How can you expect a waterfall, from a concrete dry wall,
How can you expect a carnival, when my heart is a crazy bloody brawl.
I crawl throughout your path, with bow-legged clatters,
Kneeled down with the heart in my hands,
My blood splatters and you don't even try to flatter.
I'm cutting my veins, and letting my feelings out,
My emotions on separate lanes, and you keep screaming aloud.
I sit on top of you squeezing, trying to stop you from leaving,
You won't even care so listen, I want to stop you from breathing.
I rip my heart out for you, and you see it so dull and gray,
It's not a mistery not even a clue, that it bleeds for you everyday.
I would lay here and die in your arms, with the heart in my hands,
I'm on an emergency alarm, because you cut off my hands.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Are you happy?
Keep your luck.
Are you lost?
Keep looking up.
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I can see the pain in you with your beautifully written words.. Amazing Lu, , A sure 10+
Dear LU, love can do you just like that, Good poem Thanks
I'm a bit off violence after seeing Savages and Django in a week. Try a gentler, less gratuitous metaphor. Quite well-written though.
Dear Lu,
Life is indeed worth it, and with the help of friends of family, you will find it is so. Great feelings are expressed here, though! But I must tell you now: do not stay in this place of darkness...
Titi
xx
Ilke you style, It says you are 13 yrs old? not bad! !
Brilliant and well written, its a great poem. Keep up.......
inspiring... you inspire me to do even more. Never ever stop writing, write to your grave kid.
10+ because I love the last part the most........I rip my heart out for you, and you see it so dull and gray,
It's not a mistery not even a clue, that it bleeds for you everyday.
I would lay here and die in your arms, with the heart in my hands,
I'm on an emergency alarm, because you cut off you my hands.
a great read.. good poem..
christ, thats an extremely abstract poem which is brilliant. xx