She Embraced Torment Poem by Melissa Hurst

His eyes were like brown crystals
as moonlight shone upon him.

My hands were bound
and I was assigned to a dark corner
to watch him glisten in the night.

He whispered, 'Look upon
what you shall never have.'
I gazed upon his naked flesh
and embraced my repression.

'If this is all that I am worthy to receive,
then I am happy to linger
in this moment, for my eyes
are satisfied spectators.'

He stood across the room,
watching my fixed face,
caressing his body
and whispering, 'Beg for me.'

Tears filled my eyes,
salty trails moistened my lips
and he could hear me sniffling.
'Why do you cry? '

In a breaking voice
I replied, 'After I have you, I will suffer.'
Then he said, 'You know this,
yet you came quickly to my call.'
I nodded my head and sorrow
saturated my heart.

'I know, but I cannot sway
such a glorious opportunity
to behold one so fair.'
He came near to me,
extended his hand and I dropped my head
into his palm.

'Soothe this nagging ache, caress me.'
His hand brushed through my hair
and tears fell continuously from my eyes.
'I'm sorry it has to be this way.'
I nodded my head after he spoke
and my eyes trailed his body,
until I saw his face above me.

He turned 'round as our eyes met
and brought forth a chair.
He sat in front of me
and grabbed his shirt that lay on the floor.
'We cannot look into each other's eyes.'
I objected and said, 'You don't have to look
into mine, please let me see you.'

'It will make the pain all the more unbearable
if you do look upon me further,
do you not acknowledge the depth of the tears
that trail down your red cheeks? '
I whispered, 'I don't care anymore,
this is what I want if it is
all that I shall ever receive.'

Then he replied, 'I do not wish to be responsible
for your pain, your yearning, nor your tears.'
I yelled, 'Don't worry yourself with it,
just do this for me! '
Sorrow weighed me down
and my head fell upon the floor,
I burst into heavier tears and he brought up my head
and blindfolded me.

'You will not cry here, I don't want to hear
nor see it.'
He covered my mouth with another unknown
cloth and I still wept.
He lay my head upon his lap
and whispered, 'Shh.'
The soft mercy of his voice
could not stop my tears,
for I remember it from long ago.

'Don't remember what I was to you...'
I screamed behind the cloth
before he could finish.
'Calm yourself, please don't do this.'
He patted my back softly
and rocked me slowly.
I whimpered and was taunted
by the thoughts of my mind.

His touch soothed me
and I lay motionless in his lap.
He took away all that concealed my face
and said, 'I cannot do this,
can you make it home? '
I held my head down for a moment
and got up.
'Can you remove these cuffs? '

He obliged and removed
them from my hands.
He whispered, 'I'm sorry.'
I looked bitterly at him
and went for the door.
I turned my head and gazed upon
his face and said, 'The pain wouldn't be
any less fierce if I wasn't here.'

'Torment follows me everywhere,
for it knows who I adore and it taunts me
with a familiar face.'