Shell (Performance) Poem by R.K. Cowles

This shell that which screens me
From consultations
Retains me confined
However, by years as concealing emotions
This mode is difficult to break
It overwhelms me for now
Which its potent dominence
Yet I struggle
to escape this secrecy
Thus I inhabit this crampness
Only require one to bare myself
Once I finally have one
I can progress
To expand my hidden
Then I'll discover additional conversational exchanges
Thrusting it outward
To detect another and another
As I attempt to reach
The exterior of my concealment
It's a great deal complexed
Than I speculated
But i've conversed with another and another
Either though I'm hesitant
to extend expressions of my veiws
Will I be rational by others
Yet I desire others to know my insights
Hopefully they'd identify with me
I converse many at one moment
Though i remain inside
Yet I now able to stand
Begging to being openly
As I push outward
Push to reveal more spacier
To the extent of arms length
Extending the covering to reveal more
More of myself
I possess additional information to disperse
But to whom?
Pushing the envelope outward
Yet remain inside
Listening to others
But others haven't heard me
Need to be heard
Not alot of practice
I've beginning to acquire additional experience
Straining myself, exposing more that I know
Yet hasn't cracked this hold
Farther I must go
Conversing now with total strangers
I now move further
Thus my thoughts remain camouflaged
Yet I struggle
But not as tedious
As it's less difficult to progress outward
Spliting an opening
Now I try to widen this opening
To sqeeze through at long last
I'm out, all will know my philosophy
That I've always desired to distribute to all
Yet this shell still exist
Expecting me to re-enter
To experience that previous silence
I attempt to shove a distance away
Thus it still latches to me
I struggle to escape myself
In the presence of it
It periodically appears now and again
Disregard the existence of it
Erase it from my perception
Don't desire to reced back inside
I will push it out of my thoughts
Desire it not to exist in my being
There gone
I feel relieved
Never going back inside that shell