[ Sitting Here On This Hard Tiled Floor ] Poem by Ashhy Quebedeau

Sitting here on this hard tiled floor
have my knees tucked under my chin
hugging them to feel close to something

Black tears stain my pale face
as i feel nothing inside
except that i should just end this life

and thinking why im going down this dark
spiraling tunnel...as my soul floats out of me
tainting everything inside of me to sulfur

Feeling it burning my veins as it turns it black
smiling to feel the sweet pain all over again
and wishing that it will stay for sometime

Wanting to feel alive inside
that i will do anything to keep that feeling going
even if it means for me to rip my arm open once again

ill do it in a heartbeat just to be happy
and feel the calmness inside me once again
and not have to fear who i am or what i changed into

Ahhh so many thoughts swishing around my head
as some of the thoughts are repeating over and over
just like a broken record, , , , but that never turns off
nor changes the tune

Cant i be happy with my life
and forgive myself and move on with my life
or do i want to stay here in the same rut

Oh i dont know what to do
please God help me out
what am i suppose to do?

God help me understand who i am
and that i can understand what im suppose to do
in this miserable life...