Gaayatri Chandrasekharan

So I've halved my heart to two
The ‘sleep team' and the ‘team sleep not'
And they've started a fiery tug of war
And my heart trying, painfully, to moderate

Should I sleep?
Should I open my eyes to another painful day?
Another day of hurt
Of struggle
Of regret..?
Should I subject myself to the crafty hands of life?
To wreath and wriggle
Call out and cry?
To let their blunt words slice into my heart
Slowly
Very slowly
Inch by inch
Lingering…
Feeding my with pain each passing second
To bruise me with their sharp eye points
Clawing scars that never heal, never stop hurting
To make me sob
Cry
Wail
Scream?
To hear their hateful unspoken words
And stay silent
Helpless and silent

Or shouldn't I?
So I could lay awake till the morning
Another excuse for not going back there, the school
To let the sun wash my kohl smudged face with his golden fingers
To let the soil sing her soothing song, with the rustling foliage rhythm
To let the wind caress my tear soaked cheeks, puffy eyes
To let the stream take off my pain, and flow away…
What sun? What soil? What wind? What stream?
They're lifeless
Imaginary
"Abiotic"
They say…

Only I'm real
And this pain…

So the tug of war ended in a draw
And my heart spoke out the result….

Never sleep to wake up to another day
Never lay awake with a hope for the better
Go to sleep…
A sleep without pain
Without a hope
A sleep without a promise of a brighter tomorrow
A sleep that hides nothing
A sleep that leaves none
Eternal sleep…
A sleep that holds within nothing but
Sleep