Treasure Island

R.K. Singh

(31 December 1950 / Varanasi, Uttar Pradesh, India)

STAINS STAY LIKE SIN


Layers of dust thicken
on the mirror water makes
the smuts prominent:
I wipe and wipe and yet
the stains stay like sin

Submitted: Wednesday, July 27, 2005
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  • Kathleen Paul-Flanagan (7/27/2005 7:57:00 AM)

    The only suggestion I have is to maybe to change your line breaks a bit in the first few lines...maybe like this?

    Layers of dust
    thickner on the mirror
    water makes the smuts
    prominent:

    I like what you are saying here just think it needs different line breaks to make it easier to read. But that's just one thought. I could be wrong. (Report) Reply

Read all 1 comments »

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