Standing In The Grotto And Confessing Poem by Sarah Mkhonza

Now I know a lie has a long lifespan
Words that came out years ago
Haunt me here in the grotto.
They sit with stares so hollowed by time
These candles look dim
As they melt and burn my hands
When I pick them up to look
How pure my soul will become
When next I come to confession.

When I heard the lie repeated
A decade later on new doorsteps
the lie had traveled far in time
To cement itself in the mind, the anger
My mother fuming at the heavenlies
For not bringing down fire on her
The one I had lied about.

My skin is hidden in shivers
Etched in the caverns of my mind
Is the big story I told
That lies between the three of us
Untouched and half know by some.

It way my mind which fabricates truths
The way I want them twisted to blame
I stand in this grotto in a girlish fight
Of silky petticoats torn in jagged tears
That I hid at the bottom of the box
And a huge scar on my face.

I argued with the truth then
I cannot argue with the lies now
For I used to survive questioning
Not knowing the coming grotto
Which will deal with twisted stories
And dish out words like art
Painting episodes to be told
About the grace I have now
To stop me crashing into the fire
As my ashes get swallowed by cries
Of a penitence too late
So here and now I say it,
It was not her, it was not her.