Stranger Poem by Lyndsey Grant

I have come here again
Entered into this void
The nothingness
I visit often
Although
I haven’t stopped in
For quite a while

I meet myself here
This stranger that appears
So humble
So fragile
So needing to be wanted
And accepted
And loved

I cry for her
I want to hold her
And squeeze her
Till her bones drip away
All the pains pulsating in her marrow

If only I could tell her
It will be all right
But I can’t
Because
That would be a lie
And she’s been lied to
Far too many times

I feel sorry for this poor feeble creature
This troubled empty soul
This shell of an existence
She just can’t let go
She holds on
She digs her hole
Jumps in
And drowns in her spiral of thoughts

She looks to me
Questioningly
For the answers
For a line to hold onto
And pull her out of misery’s clutch
I have none
Wish I did
But I am not prepared
Wasn’t properly trained

I stand back and watch
Watch her go mad
Watch her eyes glaze over
Watch the desperation seep
Through her pores
And maybe she knows
She’s gone too far
She is done
There is nothing left

I see her trapped
Scratching till her nails bleed contempt
Digging till her limbs fall off in despair
Trying to excavate her self
From her self
Moving in a cycle of circles
Cursed with confusion

She stops
As suddenly as she began
Wipes the debris from hallow eyes
Looks though me
Inside me
Beyond me
She knows she’s defeated
But cannot even cry
Her tears have dried into sands time

She bursts into
1000 flecks of ashen memories
1000 particles of lost hope
1000 words never said
1000 dreams never dreamt

She blows away
Cremated youth
Swirls around
Carcass snowflakes
So light
So carefree

I feel her smile
I taste her glow
I smell her peace

She is finally free

I have lost her

I have lost
A part
Of me