Taking Care Of The Long Ago And Never Being A Good Fit At Work Poem by Mary Angela Douglas

'Cobbler, cobbler, mend my shoe;
have it done by half past two.'
'At half past two? It can't be done! '
'Then...have it done by half past one, '

(an old, very old, children's rhyme, nursery song I listened to over and over on a yellow plastic record when I was a very little girl and which turned out to be the best job preparation I ever had. (next to the frustrating, timed game 'Go Fish! ')

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
they thought I was so negligent then
in clerical tasks though I always finished
everythng. and fast, with few errors.

you're not quite here they gasped, disconcerted
devastated the Agency sent me
to take care of the files a short girl Friday anomalie

who wore peasant dresses, shoes from Payless
pleasant jewelry not in style.
send us someone else they'd plead

(after the first 15 minutes
and I'd made the coffee...)
on speed dial, they were that stressed.

I never got used to that, I guess
when they'd intone: oh god, send
us a real secretary

and once I said with a smile:
be happy they sent someone human.
I really did say that

making allowances,
(I tried my best) .
concentrating on my typing speed

and doing many little extras.

and thinking, on my happiest days
of them quite kindly really:
especially on snow days

when I didn't have to go in.

how could they know
that I was lent for something
other than they meant;

that everywhere I went
I was taking care
of the long ago and so:

couldn't dress
like a stewardess;

at home with many ghosts,
folkloric, worst of all, still free
no matter what they said to me

and they could say a lot
in between 8 o'clock in the morning
and 4; 30 p.m.

I think of them sometimes
while I'm happy making rhymes and ramen
and free from all the files, the little wiles

long last!

the blazers and the past.
and happy now no one ever made me
dress for success.

when I was sworn to secrecy then
and couldn't let them in on the secret
that I was sent to mind the golden things

and learned to multitask with wings,
taking care of, the long ago.

mary angela douglas 12 january 2016