! ! ! ! ! That Night I Felt Like Dying Poem by Twisted Strange

I felt like dying that night
Eyes red, face dropped.
The sobs wouldn't cease,
and this was no story even in the running to be topped.
I'd done a bad thing to a good person,
broke his heart again.
I'd become an expert at that,
always finding different ways and men.
I blamed him though,
said he was too emotional for reality.
I said he was just too sensitive for truth
although I was in the complete opposite booth.
I'd been the one saying nothing.
I'd sat in the car with a blank look,
while he poured his soul out of hurt and bitterness,
it was difficult for neither of us to feel the crook.
I expected him to yell and scream,
to eventually break.
But he just kept being so nice with intervals of frustration,
it appeared this way was more than I could take.
I sat there. I listened.
No expression on my face or word in my throat.
I felt numb, unlike myself;
a staff that carried on without any notes.
He hugged me goodbye and the emotions twisted in me like they always did for him.
I held tight and cried,
wishing I had words when he actually wanted to hear.
He kept whispering "I love you"
which only brought more tears.
I never gave an explanation of then,
and he never asked my thoughts.
I convinced myself I should leave him,
better that way so in my web of pain he wasn't caught.
I'd made my plan and sobbed through it all.
I'd say goodbye and write his ex,
this was all thought of while dying in his arms.
I'd bury myself with all our affects.
I pushed him away and told him to rest,
drove home with tears streaming,
a cigarette lit and music blocking.
My "selfish" sacrifice would prove redeeming.
I believed him better off without me,
though I knew he wouldn't make the choice.
I made it for him.
In the future I'd be his personal heavenly voice.
I kept driving and "coward" came to mind.
I'd unintentionally planned to walk way from a fight.
So instead when I got home I wrote,
"I felt like dying that night."