The Anonymous Patriot Poem by Hannington Mumo

The Directorate of Criminal Investigations can attest
That none raised a claim against him, even in jest,
And reports on his environmental conduct all agree
That he never injured a sprouting tree,
And that all he did was to the favor of Mother Nature.

Apart from a short peace-keeping mission overseas,
He worked for a charitable foundation that preaches peace,
He never skipped a day of work and never got fired.
Tax evasion was to him an unpatriotic sin,
And he paid all his levies with a mirthful grin.

All his Sacco reports faithfully indicate
That he remitted his contributions and didn’t wait
To be reminded by the office like the rest.
The media sorority remains convinced in every way
That he bought the three mainstream papers every day.

Policies registered in his name doubtless show
That he was fully insured from head to toe.
The departments of health well understand
That he was cognizant of the benefits of the National Health Insurance Fund.

He had the things necessary to a man of his day:
A radio, a piano, a car, and a house fit for his modest stay.
Researchers into Public Opinion are satisfied
That he had the right opinions for the day and year;
If things were alright, he agreed: if things were foul, he defied.

He married a pious girl and added five souls to the population,
Which experts say was the perfect number for a father of his generation.
His teachers are grateful he was never a nuisance to their work.
Whether he was happy or free is a question rather absurd,
But had anything been wrong we should have no doubt heard!