The Answer Man Poem by Robert Edgar Burns

I billed myself as the answer man
And stood on a college stage.
I told them I had no answers,
That's why professors there get paid.

While the fruit and eggs were flying,
I asked the Dean for my pay check.
He told me if I had a frying pan
My pay was lying on the deck.

Those starving children in Africa,
The ones with tears in their eyes,
Are they ever fed by the cameramen?
Did they bring some burgers with fries?

Has anyone said 'leave the dessert? '
'And move where the food is grown? '
Let's send them all a U-Haul,
And tell them to find a new home.

Make it a place near a river.
Or even a clear blue lake.
Camels can live in a dessert.
Not humans for goodness sake.

Now that I've solved world hunger,
I will again lecture the college youth.
I shall take with me plenty of baseballs,
The students can toss at my dunking booth.