The Brine Flies Are Gathering Poem by Kim Barney

Kim Barney

Kim Barney

I was born in a bank - - my mother went there and made a deposit

The Brine Flies Are Gathering

Rating: 5.0

The hummingbird was drinking up the Great Salt Lake.
He said he really liked the taste. His name was Jake.
'Twas early in the morn when he began his treat;
by noon the salty lake was down by thirty feet.
His swollen belly had become quite large to view,
so he had to disgorge himself a time or two.
He said 'I wish that I could do this every day,
but it seems the lake has begun to fade away.'
The Great Salt Lake, once full, is now completely dry,
or does some weird distortion fool my simple eye?
I smell the salty brine and hear some branches shake;
the hummingbird's now sinking in the Great Salt Lake.

POET'S NOTES ABOUT THE POEM
At the recent Utah State Poetry Society Spring Festival, one of the guest speakers, Rob Carney, who has written eight books of poetry, gave us a writing challenge. We had to write about something impossible happening. I couldn't think of anything more impossible than a hummingbird drinking all the water in the Great Salt Lake. He gave us about 15 minutes to write and then we broke up into groups of four to share what we had written. He said nothing about making it rhyme, and I wrote it as free verse at first, but when I was finished I saw that by changing only a word or two here and there, I could make it rhyme, and I could not resist.
COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Kim Barney 13 May 2024

This is also a 'square poem', as it has 12 lines with 12 syllables in each line. I didn't even realize I was making it square until it was all finished.

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Cowboy Ron Williams 13 May 2024

I really like this. I don't think I could write something like this 'on command' the way you did. Five stars!

1 0 Reply
Kim Barney 16 May 2024

Thanks, Ron. I didn't think the poem would amount to much, but I was really quite pleased with the way it turned out.

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Kim Barney

Kim Barney

I was born in a bank - - my mother went there and made a deposit
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