The Clown Poem by Paritosh Dhawan

'Look here mum', said a little boy
showing his mother a man, a messenger of joy.
A red face, crazy smile and clothes with Polka-dots,
It must be fun being me, right? WRONG!
 
I laughed, open wide when the kids came running..
How were they supposed to know that inside i'm screaming?
i remember asking the man in the mirror - WHY
am i supposed to do this - To change, you must TRY!
 
even my reflection disgusted me...
Cruel souls - Stop bothering me!
Everyday i saw someone shaming me with glee,
How was I not supposed to lose a part of me?
 
Days i spent wondering, countless nights dreaming,
Lusting for someone to understand my very being,
To try and realize how i'm feeling! ! !
 
All my life i spent making others smile...
Never had anyone i could call mine...
Not even for a while...
I did whatever i was asked to entertain the world..
My painted face had  made vision this blurred..
 
My mind, a metamorphosis into an infernal blaze
My thoughts, lonely and isolated...
My life, a joke...
which my very being created!
 
Had many, but none i could call a good friend..
was there no one? ANYONE, that the divine one could send?
 
With no joy in ' the messenger of joy ',
just some dead memories...
In my cradle I rest...
 
Dunno why no one's here to see me off...
As i quit my job to silently leave my life.
 
Lying inside this box, i shall not speak of hope..
For happiness was a friend, that turned foe,
Long Ago.