The Interview Panel Poem by James Smith

They nervously prepare their questions
Rehearsed the night before
The unspoken looming large at first
For the one beside the door.
Is he human is he one of us
Will he do the bright thing
But not make us blush?

Is this what we expected when
We read his long CV
And knew it was such a distance
From his home beside the sea?
I'm afraid to have to say it
Reluctant to make a fuss
He's not at all like you and me
And certainly not like us.

The Chairman of the Board sits up
And loudly clears his throat
'I'm sure I can speak for my colleagues
And say, welcome to Greater Stoat'.
Twenty blurred minutes later
Muttered thankyous all around
A taxi to the station
Home again to go to ground.

No words of congratulation
To shorten the journey's return
You sought your own salvation
When will you ever learn?

Though small expenses are mine to claim
Today's no fortune and not much fame
For at my interview at Greater Stoat
Nobody gave me a single vote.