The Mellowing (My Life, Middle Age, & Therapy) Poem by Carole Moran

Maybe it needs mellowing;
Maybe it needs a master's touch
To gentle it down a little,
To make it palatable
For those unaccustomed
To my private world of power, emotion,
color, intellect,
All at high degree and fast pace.

Maybe it needs tenderness
As well as passion;
Maybe it needs calm and serenity
As well as passion;
For those unaccustomed
Or out of touch with themselves,
the inner being,
Or is their inner being so different?

Maybe it needs reality;
Maybe it needs a touch of sanity
According to accepted standards,
To give it depth and meaning
To those who think a different way
And march to a different drummer.

Well, I can change, Heaven knows!
But should I?
Can it really help to mellow, to adapt,
Or will it merely serve to water down
what I really feel?
Isn't that indeed what I've been doing
all along?
Isn't that why I'm here, now?
The mellowing is all wrong, somehow.

(May 3,1985)