The Queen's New Horse Poem by jim hogg

We’re welcome yin and a’ to clim’ aboard the monarch’s ride
Birthed by gilded mitts behin’ the blue and yalla strides
She’s armed wi information and a mission tae truncate us
An saddled far an’ wide wi gorgers surgin’ tae deflate us
They’ve got her by the tongue and they’re lashin’ in the boots
They’re shootin’ fae the hip and they’re stirrin’ up the soot

An’ Scotsmen drunk on attitude are forced to lie below it
The highlanders and lowlanders and them that cannae show it
Are missin’ kissin’ Embra, an’ that hussy fae Arbroath
But in their ringin’ lugs can hear a chantin’ comin’ close

Her saddlebags are rattlin wi’ lood cravin’ and persuasion
But gi’en her hade she’s lackin’ in a basic explanation
She’s a wee bit unacquainted wi reality and truth
But strewth it’s ocht but truth that this here hoofer must pursue
In droves she hads crusadin’ hopes o’ burnishin’ the few
An dishin' staney comfort if yer poor or on the broo.

A yearlin’ noo she’s quite a beaut, she’s struttin’ a' the world, man
Her weel snipped cloth is blowin free, she’s snortin snuff and dogma
She’s whippin in, she’s whippin oot, manoeuvres tae up-raise us
Oor sov’reign’s horse is full in flicht in a hunner pointless races
An a’ the gulls and gulled are oot tae sing her praises.


10 05 11