The Sound Of Our Words Poem by jennifer killian

Do you realize that just saying your name aloud to myself
Stops all thought
My eyes close, unbidden
And I am still, except for the beating of my heart

That one syllable, your name,
Formed from a single breath
My tongue pressed softly inside of my mouth
It’s almost a kiss

I whisper your name to myself,
Sometimes, right before I go to sleep,
And I am in another place
That is not familiar at all

Other words have power over me, too

You don’t realize it,
But you are careless with your words,
As if they are not gold coins clinking all over the place,
All around us

Especially once, when you jokingly said my name and love in the same breath
I froze, I couldn’t move or talk or even think
But I know you didn’t notice
I guess that’s what happens when you don’t love me

Then, that last night, when you hurt me the most,
You were vulgar
And spoke of having sex with me angrily, carelessly
As if it couldn’t be what it most certainly could have been
And I was speechless
Dazed, actually
To hear such sacred words come from you, tarnished with your meanness

Those last words of yours
Are carved onto my heart, for better or worse,
And it is with a mixture of pain and a sick sense of pleasure

That I recall them

So, I am a little afraid of you
Because of the power you have over me
And I am not quite sure if
You realize it or not
But my gut feeling is that you do
And that makes you dangerous