The Story I Never Wrote Poem by Fred Babbin

Disclaimaer: As a Buddhist, I do not believe in God. I do not deny His existence, but I do say two things:

1. I do not see evidence for His existence
2. I see little evidence for his benevolence.
3. Nothing that I know of has gone against Nature's laws
3a. Anything that APPEARS to go against them, has eventually been disproven – so far..

THE STORY I NEVER WROTE

At first, there was complete emptiness -
nothing, zilch, not even zero, an undescribable nothing -
no light, no darkness.
But then there were these two noumenal essences
in this void, as part of it.
One was Logos, and one was Chaos.
As they condensed, the two finally joined,
and out of that union came
God.
But God was not an old man with a white beard -
he was a sweet little cherub.
So His parents
(He must have been 'He' -
what female god would wish menstruation,
PMS, childbirth, etc. on Her creations,
let alone all of the misogynist biblical literature
that there is about women? Remember the Apple)
gave Him something to play with,
viz., the Four Elements - Earth, Air, Fire and Water.
They told Him to be careful,
but being a baby,
He did the wrong thing,
and the Big Bang occurred.
Nothing has been the same since.

Every time He tries to fix something,
something else gets screwed up,
and since we have been made in His image,
we carry on the tradition.

Of course, his first big mistake
was His invention of the Big Bang.
So in order to correct this,
He invented Conscioussness.
In order to correct Concsciousness,
He invented Death.
Since He was not able to reverse Time
(even God cannot do this) ,
To satisfy both Death and Consciousness,
He invented Man.
To correct that mistake,
He invented Religion.
But Man invented
Irresponsible Reproduction
and blamed it on God (Be fruitful and multiply) .
After that, because of all these mistakes,
In a fit of Depression, God invented
War, Conquest, Pestilence, and Starvation
(He had already invented Death) .
To aid His process of Confusion and Depression,
Man has further invented Poverty and Pollution.

And so we must meditate on these things
And sing and dance and laugh together,
For we don't have a choice;
We can sing to God's existence,
We can dance to God's existence,
We can make great art for Him.

But we must make our Perfect Lives,
For God cannot.