The Supermarket Incident Poem by john coldwell

Dear reader bear with me and I’ll tell you a tale,
The full detail of which may take me a while,
Till now all the facts were know only to two,
The baddie, and goodie, who will confirm it is true.
Things in this world are not all that they seem,
And the injustice of life is entirely my theme.

It was early in April and a fine sunny day,
And to the supermarket, I was making my way.
Such shopping, I admit, I ‘m inclined to despise,
But to disobey my dear wife I find is unwise.
The sight of the car park served to confirmed my dislike
All cars, trolleys, and pushchairs, and three kids on a bike.

Then, like a stab at the edge of my eye,
It caught my attention as I briskly walked by,
Alone, in a trolley, to some person’s cost,
A fat, lady’s purse, lay abandoned and lost.
I see from that last line you may mistake my intentions,
Note, I refer to the purse, not it’s owner’s dimensions.

Of which at that time I had no cause to remark,
But as it turned out was not far off the mark.
But now we digress, please let me press on,
One minute I saw it, and the next, it was gone!
Quick, like a hawk, a hand swooping low,
And into a pocket the treasure did go.

As if an illusion, the purse was no more,
and pocketed hand’s owner walked away from the store.
But yes I had seen it, if for only a fraction,
And something inside me called me to action,
That some miscreant was making off with a packet,
Was clear from the size of the bulge in his jacket.

To you my dear reader, and to me, I might add,
The intentions of the finder will seem singularly bad,
It was clear to me that this threadbare old loner,
Had not the slightest intention of finding the owner.
So through narrowing eyes I sized up the quarry,
A scruffy, be-whiskered, old man in a hurry.

Weaving through cars on his clean getaway,
All the while thinking it was his lucky day,
But now I was on his tail, and soon alongside,
Walking beside him I kept stride for stride.
“Don’t think it unnoticed what happened back there,
You know what you‘re doing is jolly unfair”

To this no reply, and no turn of the head,
My unscrupulous companion kept on looking ahead.
Now, looming before us in forbidding red brick,
Was our new police station, yes our local nick.
And to my surprise, and with a wave in the air,
He said, not too convincingly, “ I’m taking it there”.

Well, I had only to look at the set of his jaw,
To guess he was well known to arm of the law,
And perhaps his arrival might interest the Court,
A bit more than the lost property he had come to report,
And so calling his bluff, and to see if he dare,
I said “Certainly, yes, I’ll accompany you there”.

We proceeded in silence at decreasing pace,
I wish you had seen the look on his face.
A hopeless dilemma now grasped the poor mug,
As he saw for himself the deep hole he had dug,
And having decided which option was worse,
He spun on his heel and went into reverse.

I suppose he was thinking he’d shoulder the blame,
But at least we were heading back whence we came.
And now our tale’s climax grows ever more near,
And the strange final outcome will be presently clear,
So picture us now as we enter the store,
He slightly in front through the wide sliding door.

There right before us at the customer desk,
Was a very large lady, perhaps almost grotesque,
And above all else her shrill voice could be heard,
I might venture hysterical as an appropriate word.
At such a commotion and voices so loud,
As you’d expect, she had gathered a crowd.

Things now moved swiftly as if fate took a hand,
Some strange intuition I don’t understand,
Caused the lady to turn and to see my friend bring,
And hold up the purse like some peace offering.
She let out a shriek at this glorious encounter,
That, I gather, was heard at the bakery counter!

Her plump hand shot out, grasping fingers asplay,
But my wily old friend pulled the target away,
And in a pointless last gesture, entirely hopeless,
He demanded she prove her right to possess,
His much coveted prize by describing a few,
Of the said object’s contents, (of which he ‘d no clue) .

She reeled off her claim and her obvious right,
And snatched up her purse with euphoric delight.
He was caught in an embrace like never before,
I will swear that she lifted his feet from the floor!
And her great lipsticky kiss on his cheek was so loud,
It brought spontaneous applause from the appreciative crowd.

Her largesse knew no bounds, her actions outlandish,
Opening her purse a ten pound note she did brandish,
And bestowed it on Scruffy with a benevolent air,
Who greedily took it, be it grossly unfair.
With that the lights dimmed and the drama concluded,
The characters faded, and normal service resum’ ed.

And me? Some force made me invisible that day,
Stood on the sidelines with no part to play,
But to watch the fickle nature of fate there unfold,
My sense of injustice has ne’re yet been told,
With only me knowing the full facts of the case,
Except for one other, who will not admit to his place.

So now, dear reader, there you have my sad song,
And I thank you for hearing me out for so long,
I tell you my friend that I’ll eat my hat,
If the true nature of life is so cruel, and that,
When it’s all over, At the end of all things,
The bad are rewarded, the good are ignore ‘ed,
And the fat lady sings!