The Witches Of Little Begone Poem by David Lewis Paget

Little Begone was a tiny place
Untouched by the fronds of time,
The cottages there, since Edward the third
Had lain in a valley sublime,
Wisteria climbed at the cottage walls
Where lilies and lilacs grew,
And over a fence, the witches stared,
In Little Begone there were two.

They hated each other in Little Begone,
The youngest was Annabel Prank,
She'd stolen the seeds of a magical herb
From the garden of old Mother Skank,
So Skank put a spell on her garden that
Instead of the herbs, would grow
An army of huge zucchini's that
Would spread, right into the road.

Annabel tried to dig them out
But they seemed to grow and grow,
‘That will teach you to mess with me, '
Old Mother Skank had crowed.
So Annabel stormed back into the house
And put on her witches hat,
She turned Skank's cat to a cockerel,
And her cockerel into a cat!

Skank didn't know ‘til the cock miaowed
And the cat began to crow,
‘I've more spells than you know about, '
She screamed from the path below,
She sent an army of ugly toads
To breed in her neighbour's pond,
While Annabel watched the zucchini's grow
And sank in a deep despond.

That night she summoned up Beelzebub
While Skank sat down to plot,
Set fire to her neighbour's chimney piece
And shattered the chimney pots,
So Skank called up an army of bats
To nest in her rival's eaves,
When Annabel ran, with bats in her hair
Skank followed her through the trees.

They fought, pulled hair, and scratched and screamed
‘Til the neighbour's all came out,
‘Isn't it time that we ducked these two, '
Said the blacksmith, Simon Stout.
They seized and carried them down to the pond
And they brought the ducking chair,
Then ducked them both, and they both came up
With pondweed in their hair.

‘If you don't behave in Little Begone
Begone is what you'll be,
We've had enough of your witch's tricks
Since fifteen forty three! '
Now Annabel sells zucchini's at
The market, by the bank,
And she always looks the other way
When she spots old Mother Skank!

6 September 2012