Theme For English B Poem by Paloma Castaneda

The instructor said,
Go home and write
a page tonight.
And let that page come out of you -
Then, it will be true.

I don't even know who I am, so why should
you?
I'm fourteen, my first year of high school, stressed
beyond words
I tend to be accident prone, testing gravity
often...Yep, it still works.
Born and raised in a some what traditional family
I guess I'm 'like totally' typical
A little directionally challenged,
I don't really have a sense of where I am
usually.
But I know that all roads lead to home
through the door, back out to my yard, where
I lay out a mat,
enjoy the fresh air, and write this page.

Being ADHD, how hard can it be?
It's like getting a picture of the world-
but you're the one that's out of focus
Constantly moving, fidgeting, being
unconnected
You get used to it, as well as the idea of
spending 5 hours 25 minutes
in a quiet room, taking a test that decides my currently uncertain future.

But I shouldn't define my future that way, like
I shouldn't define myself by my ADHD
So how should I define myself?
Do I let my clothes define me to you?
Living in t-shirts and jeans doesn't do me
justice.
I'm in a state of perpetual stress, freaking out
over something
that will certainly be no big deal in a few
short moments,
But that isn't quite accurate either.
My music tastes are really great
which is closer to a proper definition.
Should it be my slight tendency to spread
myself too thin?
Or the fact I'm almost always injured or sick?
Not a single one of these details gives you the
whole story of who I am
And definitely not a picture of who I strive to
be.
I always wish I could be more:
More organized, more confident, more focused.
That's American, but thats not me.
One mild identity crisis later, and I end up
just where I started
With no idea who I am, but a bunch of
scattered bits of information,
All written together on the same disheveled
page.

This is my page for English B