Thicket Poem by Pinaki Dewan

you believed what he said yesterday
you smile at me now in your egotistic mercy
he laughs hard in his bed without delay
holding his stomach in his hands of ruby
in your face is a shadow but no dismay
you look almost like the stark statue of a tree
where will you go now love where will you stay
now that you trust so violently that you are free

the dawn is bent towards your window
checking nimbly like a physician your quickened pulse
you have no idea what you wished to hide and what you wished to show
you just talk on impulse
it asks you why you are so sallow
and randomly you shudder and convulse
if only like your insides you could bellow
you could finally let out your dormant curse

but the chair is empty the without is silent
you arrange the dining table in reluctant prayer
a ghost comes and straightens your hair unkempt
you need to eat but cannot quench his miserable stare
if only you knew what care meant
if only you knew how to share
somebody would not be so independent
somebody would certainly be there

and so i take the rock and throw it at the river
hoping it would hit my head
and so i roam all naked and i shiver
hoping i would wind up dead
but who has the courage to deliver
who can break the perennial thread
except the paramount contriver
who never knew pain who never bled

he feels tired he tries a new scent
everyday but he knows he can please
no one his appearance is decadent
and his smile is like a disease
he looks into the mirror like a parent
who just murdered his child with the ease
of a coruscant time well spent
he screams as his insecurities increase

but no one hears him in the scorching noon
he reaches out to the bar to surrender
he searches for a knife perhaps a spoon
but is thrown out by the bartender
he follows the vague quiver the feeble tune
and reaches the shop of a street vendor
steals a packet of crimson balloons
that blows up his sense of splendor

i am back where i was solving
the math of love like a cricket
who has forgotten to chirp devolving
into a mere thicket
that has no music revolving
like the earth about a spherical briquette
that will burn it one day evolving
into an enraged picket

tell me why do you live is it to bring a bouquet of flowers
or is it to cry at some unknown funeral
why do you roam about the towers
when you know you are delusional
you lack conviction you have no power
over anything yet you act like a crucible
why do you wish to burn at this hour
when you understand you are irreducible

i believed what i said yesterday
smile at myself now in my egotistic mercy
i laugh hard in my bed without delay
holding my stomach in my hands of ruby
in my face is a shadow but no dismay
i look almost like the stark statue of a tree
where will i go now though where will i stay
now that i trust so violently that i am free