Things I Cannot Bear Poem by Emma Atkinson

I cannot bear the thought of sleep.
I haven't the heart to eat
When all I think of is you.
You stole my heart away,
And I haven't words left to say
Except to say 'I love you.'
I love you, and the thought is so unbearable,
The aching in my chest so terrible,
I feel my heart is rift in two.
I cannot bear to think of you,
And yet...
That is all I do.
My dreams are of us,
Sitting, smiling, in the pearl glow,
Of the seashore,
The sun dipping in the waves, soft and slow,
Like my lips moving ever so softly on yours.
A gentle, sweet lie,
Begotten of the night.
Into which I sink with a gentle sigh.

I feel your hand in mine,
Swinging as we walk along.
I hear the rumble of your laughter,
Warm like brass, steady like a song.
I think of it long after...
Taste the memory of it when I wake,
A taste turned sour in the morning light.
My head pounds, my aching throat fills with bile,
I trace the place I dreamed your lips had been,
As I remember the ghost of your smile,
And I die a thousand deaths.
Pain wrenches my gut,
Running me through like spears.
I wish my heavy eyes would shut,
But I know only tears.

I haven't the heart to rise.
I feel the heaviness settle, feel hope as it dies.
I cannot bear the thought of life,
Not this one, this cruel, sharp-pointed knife,
That slices my heart to pieces,
When all I do is love.
And each day my love increases,
Like a sickness that corrupts my lungs
Until I can no longer breathe,
Except to say I love you,
And burn with desperate need.

I haven't the heart to tell you,
I haven't the courage to speak,
To ask for words you've never said,
The ones I desperately seek.
Say that you love me,
That you also dream of us,
Sitting by the sea.
Then shall I have the heart to live,
Then shall my heart bear to beat,
Knowing that you love me too,
And that in the morning we shall meet,
Kiss in the pale glory of the sunlit beach,
Walk hand in hand
Along the foothills of the sand,
And whisper so that only we may hear,
'I love you.'
'As I do you, my dear.'