Tilt-A-Whirl Poem by Jack Dylan

Tilt-A-Whirl

Rating: 5.0


Do you know how I just felt
A notch in your belt
A name on your list
To Hell with it all, now I’m just pissed

Damn all these voices
Running through my head
They won’t cease and desist
Until my egos been fed.

You could make them all stop
If you would just ring me today
Why do you avoid me
And keep running away

My bitter cold heart
You’ve opened once more
Filleted with a knife
Pouring onto the floor

I look down on myself
From eyes up above
Something has changed
What’s wrong with this love

My face is all wet
Just like before
When will God help
Me even the score

Why should I try
For that matter, care
Life’s just a ride
Like the one at the fair

1/30/06

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Grace Hays 02 July 2006

Good choice of phrasing. I like the way you can pull me into this poem because I have felt like this before and at times still do. Any way, good job. Always & 4ever, Grace

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Patricia Gale 13 March 2006

Love the title. Good way to refrence to hurt. Patricia

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Poetry Hound 30 January 2006

I love the title and its metaphor for your relationship with this person. However, emotional pain caused by a lover is probably the number one subject of poems here, so I think I would have tried to make the poem even more original and clever. Regards.

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