Wild Bill Balding

Rookie (12 June 1961 / London)

To a teenage stepson


When you are older with a place of your own
I will come and visit at awkward moments,
and lean on the doorbell until you answer.
I shall piss over your toilet seat, the carpet,
and probably up the walls as well.
I shall dropp my clothes randomly
throughout your public rooms,
and play with myself where the neighbours can see.
Your loved one I shall insult
at the most inappropriate moments.
I shall talk loudly and often during
your favourite programmes and lose the
remote so you cannot record them for later.
I will spit with precision down the banisters
and shut the cat in the room with the best rug
and a very full bladder. However, the
likelihood being that (should I survive
that long) you will choose my care home
and have power of attorney over my pension,
perhaps I shall content myself with
shuffling around muttering nonsense,
smelling of wee, and feigning deafness
when there are jobs needing done. You
could be mine, after all.

Submitted: Thursday, February 07, 2008
Edited: Friday, July 11, 2008

Do you like this poem?
1 person liked.
1 person did not like.

Form:


Read this poem in other languages

This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.

I would like to translate this poem »

word flags

What do you think this poem is about?

Comments about this poem (To a teenage stepson by Wild Bill Balding )

  • Rookie - 0 Points Lynda Robson (7/17/2008 3:02:00 PM)

    I think you have captured teenagers to a T here Bill, it's hard to imagine we were once that way? lol,10 for this
    Lynda xx (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Dawn Slanker (7/16/2008 2:46:00 PM)

    This poem is classic and will live forever. I'll have to share this with my sons ;) Great job (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 12 Points Yvonne Rautenbach (7/16/2008 9:06:00 AM)

    Briings back memories of my sons..you forgot the chocolate and crisp wrappers stuffed down side of the bed! (o: (Report) Reply

Read all 3 comments »

Famous Poems

  1. Phenomenal Woman
    Maya Angelou
  2. Still I Rise
    Maya Angelou
  3. The Road Not Taken
    Robert Frost
  4. If You Forget Me
    Pablo Neruda
  5. Dreams
    Langston Hughes
  6. Annabel Lee
    Edgar Allan Poe
  7. I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings
    Maya Angelou
  8. If
    Rudyard Kipling
  9. Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening
    Robert Frost
  10. A Dream Within A Dream
    Edgar Allan Poe
Trending Poets
Trending Poems
  1. Still I Rise, Maya Angelou
  2. Dreams, Langston Hughes
  3. The Road Not Taken, Robert Frost
  4. Phenomenal Woman, Maya Angelou
  5. I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings, Maya Angelou
  6. If You Forget Me, Pablo Neruda
  7. If, Rudyard Kipling
  8. A Dream Within A Dream, Edgar Allan Poe
  9. Annabel Lee, Edgar Allan Poe
  10. Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening, Robert Frost
[Hata Bildir]