To Find You Because I Love You.... Poem by RIC BASTASA

the way welive our lives
is just a way of mirroring ourselves
a matter of projecting who we really are
drawn from our past, that little child
that mother reared that father
supported and met and hugged for only
a few times under mother's folding
arms...

sometimes i think about this how i think
about you, how i arrive at conclusions only
to find out that i only speak about myself
they way i talk about you, the way i love
you had always been the way i always love myself.

it is only about me, and i shudder to this idea
that what i though about you the way i think about
myself had not been always true.

you are you, nevertheless you had always been you
which i have never understood completely, and
so i let a certain space exist between us,
a wider space, where more truths could pass
and which i perhaps should now begin to grasp.

i destroyed this mirror, i hide the other one.
i keep the broken pieces, and paint the other one.
i go to dark places not wishing for light.
i want to find you. At least, for now, i must
discard this distracting self.

i want to find you, because i love you.