Transcripts From Love Letters Unsent Poem by O Sudhir Janardhanan

You came in with armour of loneliness
Much days after you left,
the house still reeks of that loneliness,
behind, that you left
Your eyes swam in tears
never brimming to trickle down
The sadness of love lost,
floated in your smiles
As I say, I love you,
I just hope you have not lost
love in your fear of loss...


...Did you wish to something say
You did turn many a time to see today
In the crowd, I wanted to be lonely
None, let me share a moment with you
They just kept smiling and pushed
their hearts our way
Will you go away,
just to sometimes say,
‘I miss you’
Or send on rare occasions
some bought emotions my way...

...I stop once every while wondering
Where we go from here
Did it all begin with the ‘I love you’ I said
Or did it begin much before that
Many times have I searched for answers
Stopping to care for answers that
are not suitable to what I want to hear...


...I love you for your impossible dreams
For the joys you give when you talk to me
across the spaces in between
For the agonies that I endure
knowing you are just a thought away
from being lost by me
For all the times you say, ‘hmmm’
and all the infrequent times
you wish to say, ‘I love you’ to me...

...Life in its natural course has taken us apart
In our separations not forced,
But that which came at us,
we long to love,
accept without hurt or pain attached
I do not forget
But, time throws challenges,
crazier things at me
to keep me busy
Your thought rises in moments
when I need your hug the most
I love you sounds selfish, sometimes,
something’s that I understand
I don’t comprehend them the most...


...I return to your city
City of our dreams
Where we met to meet
The room is different, except
they all smell the same
They carry the aroma of our memories
that we did not meet to ever share again
Last night I shared the room
amid the cold memories, interposed
with the soft hum of the air-conditioner
I was lonely,
alone in my surrender, to the fear of loss
not comprehending the loss...

...Your memories crowd out every other thought
The bed too has fallen silent
in your absence
The soft murmur of your breath on the shoulder
The leg thrown carelessly, over, across me
The chill that moved away,
when in sleep move into your arms deep,
now taunts me...