Tv Commercials Poem by Colin Coplin

It's time to place the call
the pennies have fallen off the wall
my car's been washed away
it's rusting in the bay
but still my hair has not seen better days

'Cause I've headed the TV commercials
now I'm waiting for the onrush of pretty girls
though my bank account's overdrawn
I'm still in touch with the Jones
now all I need is the right drink for all occasions

And they tell me I'm very individual
I'm unique and the sort after male
I mean I can understand it
I've spent 3 long hard years at it
studying those qualities meant to catch the eye

From my wrist watch to the shirts I wear
my shoes and underwear
my smile is the best
my toothpaste beats the rest

a whole new identity

'Cause I've headed the TV commercials
now I'm waiting for the onrush of pretty girls
though my bank account's overdrawn
I'm still in touch with the Jones
now all I need is the right drink for all occasions

My clothes are bought from leading department stores
my cologne makes women want you more
I feel just like Errol Flynn
with a touch of Dustin Hoffman thrown in
and though time just disappears
my creams roll back the years

I'm so lucky I'm on the ball
now I'm waiting for the onrush of pretty girls
though my bank accounts overdrawn
I'm still in touch with the Jones
now all I need is the right drink for all occasions
I've headed those TV Commercials
Now I'm waiting for the onrush of pretty girls
though my bank accounts overdrawn
I'm still in touch with the Jones
now all I need is the right drink for all occasions...

Now it's my 45th birthday
whatever happened to those promised days
When I headed the TV Commercials
and waited for the onrush of pretty girls
though my bank accounts overdrawn
I'm still in touch with the Jones
Now all I need is the right drink for all occasions

I feel like I've been jilted
I was promised so much so I waited
there must be something I missed
it may be coming up next
that's it!
my shirts weren’t properly pressed
I'm just stepping out to give it a test
I know my luck has changed
they told me theirs is the best

'Cause I've headed the TV Commercials
now I'm waiting for the onrush of pretty girls
though my bank accounts overdrawn
I'm still in touch with the Jones
now all I need is the right drink for all occasions


I’m not trying to keep up with the Jones
I’m just trying to be different from the Smiths

Copyright Colin Coplin 1983 (updated 2011)